With the round of 16 in the books, we stopped to ask ourselves: which of the remaining World Cup teams are most like our favorite tech companies?
Brazil = Apple
They’ve each got the track record (5 World Cups, 5 revolutionary products), but they both have a recent habit of underwhelming fans (squeezing past Chile on penalties, Apple Maps). Their star players (Neymar, Jony Ive) are always flashy, if a little smug. Each group seems constantly either one misstep away from disaster or one incredible performance away from being back on top. Time will tell.
Colombia = Uber
They’re best known as youthful underdogs, but each is quietly developing into a legitimate powerhouse. Colombia’s coming out party has led to (arguably) the most dominant run in the World Cup, while Uber’s growing taxi-meets-limo service is winning over new riders across America.
Germany = Intel
Solid, reliable, and…to be honest…just a little boring, each is a titan of its industry, but no one seems to care. Either would love another big success to garner new international attention, but in the meantime, they’ll each keep quietly performing, racking up deep tournament runs and strategic technology partners, earning the silent, unspoken respect of their respective leagues.
USA = Beats by Dre
New leaders (Jürgen Klinsmann, Apple) have recently energized each group, both of which tend to look fantastic in a stadium or showroom. At times, the two are kept afloat on the strength of one man’s talents (Keeper Tim Howard, Dr. Dre). The actual product, however, is so-so, as evidenced by the USA’s loss to Belgium and Beats’ consistently poor expert reviews.